Here's why I'm bitching... tonight I had a buddy date with my friend Andy and we went to a most excellent British pub restaurant which has turned out to be our 'regular place'. Being traditional, they have all the Brit staples, including curry. I'm talking authentic, mouthwatering, delicious Indian curry with all the fixings (if you so please) and three levels of hotness... with a twist. They offer a 'Curry Enhancer'. What is that, you ask? It's about a 1/2 teaspoon of hot Indian goodness that packs the kick of hot magma in T minus 4 hours. And of course that's what I ordered. I LOVE the heat. I'm a drinker of Sriracha, connoisseur of hot sauces, and overall lover of the burn... but the 'Curry Enhancer' at this place is a whole other beast entirely for me. And I KNOW this. There's something about it that just curdles the intestines and everything that has entered them causing some undesirable outcomes. AND I KNOW THIS. We have history, Mr. Enhancer and I. I won't give you details, but let's just say it involved driving much too fast through a sleepy town white knuckling the steering wheel while freaking out that there was no public bathroom in sight.
And I did. OMG, I LOVE the heat. I always order my curry (at any restaurant) at medium heat, because I'm a control freak and like to be able to adjust as I go. By that I mean adding, and adding, and adding until there's basically nothing left in the teeny side dish that was given to me with it's unheeded warning. And there's never any problem gobbling it down - no whining about burning lips or tongue, it's not that kind of heat. It's the kind that radiates from within, like a mini nuclear reactor just waiting for your drive home. And drive home I did. After much needed and enjoyed hang time, I bid adieu to my friend and hopped in the car. No problem, happy belly. Chit chatty with the Hubs on the drive home and enjoying some music (car dancing like a fool and being entertainment for others waiting beside me at the light, no doubt), I get about a mile from the house and giggle to myself about how I should just say f**k it and stop for some chocolate chip cookies. And then it hits me. Mother of all that's holy, GET TO WINN-DIXIE. And I did, thank goodness my neighborhood one, so I know right where the potty is... and the cookies. Again, no details are needed after that last line, but WTF is wrong with me?
Fast forward to 2:17am and I'm awake, indigestion and potty issues from the Curry Enhancer, from the cookies (of COURSE I bought them), and from the wine. All of which I knew would effect me like this. Me, the one who already has insomnia and sleep issues, who is now the proud owner of a 45 year old body that's starting to say "Hey, stop that shit, I can't take it" to things that in past years had never bothered me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a young & healthy 45 year old dame, but there's just some stuff that exercise and healthy living can't stop, and that's the aging of your insides and how it reacts to stuff in the process. Examples of said stuff that never EVER used to bother me, but now ruins my day: Dairy - too much gives me sinus congestion to the point of thinking I have the flu. Wine - two is my new limit, regardless of the span of time I ingest them, otherwise I am up all night long with a pounding heart which leads to a dumb headache. Red wine - not all but most cause serious allergic-like reaction with full-blown sneezing fits and stuffy nose (lovely). Alcoholic beverages - overindulgence for celebratory purposes renders me useless the following day (so sad). Overeating - the worse indigestion and heartburn known to mankind (NEVER experienced THIS in my life, UG). Curry Enhancer - not hot sauce or Sriracha, or your regular run of the mill heat sources, but the exotic fiery thermogenesis of the devil himself. These are what I need to avoid... and these are the things I "treat" myself to on occasion (wha...??????) 
Hello Blogiverse! After an unplanned 5+ year hiatus from blogging (for no apparent reason other than being busy with other things) , here I...
