Thyroidectomy & a Chicken Shit - part 2

Well, it's done.  I am no longer the proud owner of an underactive, nodule dwelling thyroid.  I am now the proud owner of a smiling throat scar, lol.

I have to start by saying that the facility that handles my surgery (Moffitt Cancer Center @ Tampa, FL) was AH-MAZING.  I only needed to stay one night and I would have been more than happy to stay an extra, lol.

The short version: This has been one of the most sad & emotionally trying times of my life. Between the stress of upcoming surgery, my 12 yr old catman soulmate dying 3 days post-surgery, and the complete hormonal imbalance of going from slow-thyroid to no-thyroid, I was (and still slightly am) a basket case.  But the surgery in itself was a breeze... Chicken Shit relieved :)

The long version: You should get a cocktail for this.  I'm much better at long versions.  I'll get one too, lol.  Ready?  Great...

2/26: Pre-surgery fun in an air-filled gown!

I was on their ticket for 07:00 and needed to arrive by 05:00... and we live an hour away, DOH!  I was nervous as hell (helloooo, Chicken Shit here) and wanted to get some solid sleep the night before, so I got the okay for a sleeping pill (Lunesta.... love that butterfly).  Worst case, I figured I'd sleep the whole following day away... or so you'd thnk (more about THAT later!). After the normal check-in and a short wait, we got called in for pre-surgery.  The nurses/staff were all AWESOME and so nice, but not so overly nice that you'd want to punch them or anything.  Gown on and IV in, I reminded them that I would like some happy juice before I got wheeled in and they smiled and said "of course!"... YAY!  As I was wheeled away to surgery and waving bye to the Hubs, I was happy as a clam and as high as Tommy Chong. The one thing I remember as I rolled into the surgical room was seeing a few faces and saying, in a very sloppy stoner manner "In case I forget to tell you, you guys all fucking ROCK".  Annnnnd lights out, lol.  Yep, I made an impression.  ("Hey, MaryAnn!  Hi there!  You did great!!" said Ariana Grande, wearing her leopard print and eared hat)  What the...

I'm fuzzy on the time, but 10:00 seems pretty close to when I woke in Recovery, and damn I MADE IT!!!  My super sweet nurse Terry was by my side "How are you feeling?" Me "Not bad"... (OMG, did I just SPEAK?) After they scooped out a chunk of my throat guts??  HOORAY!!!  I didn't even sound scratchy!!  Talk about a weight off my shoulders!  I napped on & off, and when I hurt, my sweet Terry gave me morphine (HOLY SHIT) and I peacefully napped some more.  Ahhhhh....

Around 11:00 they wheeled me to my new, floor room.  DON'T MOVE ME!  I want to stay with my dealer best friend Terry!!!  Off for a ride I go; down a hall, in the elevator, and into a nice & comfy private corner room.  They used a freaking inflatable hoover mattress to move me... HOW AWESOME IS THAT?!  I felt like an air hockey puck!  My nurse Kelly was AWE-SOME; super funny, down-to-earth kinda chick you want to grab a beer with. Turns out the super nice guy that drove me to my new room was her husband, lol.  My Hubs came in around noon, and was not very pleased.  It turns out that they (not sure if recovery or floor) didn't tell him that I had been moved and he'd been waiting over an hour; poor sweet guy.  Upon checking out my neck in the mirror, it was pretty swollen and the incision was covered with Steri-strips and glue... yes, glue.  But it wasn't bad and certainly nothing out of a horror movie, lol.

As for the Ariana Grande reference earlier, when the Hubs got to my room he let me know that my awesome rockin' surgeon (Dr. Kristen Otto) had stopped by to see him in the waiting area to let him know everything went great.  He said she was wearing this cool leopard print surgical cap that had little cat ears on top.  And that's when the fuzzy memory became clear... My surgeon waking me after all was done with a hearty "Hey, MaryAnn!  Hi there!  You did great!!  And my response "ARIANA GRANDE!!  AWESOME!!!!".  Oh christ, seriously? LMFAO.

2/26: Post-op stoner pics, lol

During the first few hours after surgery, the incision site had a minor burning sensation, but my throat was fine.  I had meds to 'stay ahead of the pain'.  BTW, if anyone says this to you, LISTEN TO THEM.  Once you start hurting, it's hard to make it go away. Be a good doobie, take your damned meds, and let your body chill out and heal.  I was on Percocet, which helped keep the pain to a minimum.  By evening, I was exhausted and not sleeping at all... UG.  Turns out that one of the major side effects of anesthesia is insomnia (and constipation, but I digress...).  So, know that going into ANY surgery, you may not sleep afterward regardless of what drugs they give you or how exhausted you are.  By that point I missed my morphine, but I'm not one for unnecessary meds or pills, so... sigh, lol.  One thing I didn't lose was my appetite.  I was HUNGRY when I woke up! Since I had no throat pain, I wasn't deterred from eating and enjoyed a lunch of scrambled eggs, and other soft stuff that I can't remember because I was a little high, lol.  I had dinner too... mashed potatoes & carrots (just like cafeteria lunch in grade school!) are all I remember, and they were the best goddammed mashed potatoes I had ever tasted, LOL.  As for walking/moving, I didn't do much right away and certainly none on my own.  I needed assistance getting to and from the bathroom, as I was very dizzy and a fall risk, but that passed within 24 hours.  

By about midnight, I was completely exhausted, but entertaining myself with in-house movies.  The pain in my throat started, so they added Tylenol and gave me some Cepacol lozenges & popsicles.  Take my advice - just because you have a voice after having a thyroidectomy, doesn't mean you should use it.  Shut up and let your throat heal.  I'm a dummy.  Two other things that effected me from the anesthesia was shivering and constipation (THERE it is).  The shivering ended about 24 - 36 hours after surgery (such a strange feeling), but the constipation decided to hang and visit with me for about 4 days (not a great feeling either, lol).  I know we all react differently to medicine, but I can't stress just how fricking tired I was.  Sometime during the early morning (04:00ish?), I remember ringing my buzzer for the nurse for a popsicle and unexpectedly started hardcore sobbing out of pure exhaustion (I shocked myself with that).  It seems this is the key to getting addition bumps of morphine, lol.  I ended up sleeping for about 1 and 1/2  hours and it felt glorious.

By breakfast time my throat was okay, but the incision site was still burning and sensitive.  This didn't last too long - about two days for me.  Discharge was around 13:00 and went fine (long wait), but the ride home sucked.  I felt every single little bump and it HURT.  My poor Hubs felt awful, but it is what it is and we needed to get home.  I took a filled ice pack with me for the ride and it was the best thing I've ever done, lol.  When meds don't work, numb it with cold!  Actually, for the first couple of nights, I couldn't sleep without an ice pack... very soothing on a fiery neck.  My neck was super stiff, and due to the strips & tape I couldn't tilt my head back.  Not a big deal until until you're a few days in and it starts bugging you.  I was told I could shower, which felt AH-MAZING, but not to soak the boo-boo.  Not a problem.  Washing my long hair was a bit of a task, since I couldn't tilt me head back.  A few other issues I had were numbness & tingling in my face (which is a symptom of low calcium) and I started having a bit of an allergic reaction to the pain medicine.  I was told by the weekend doc to eat a shit ton of Tums (I won't be exact because I don't want to be quoted, but it was more than 10 per day) and take Benadryl (which I'm hyper sensitive to).  My tingling seemed under control after a couple of days, and the Benadryl knocked me on my ass, so me and my ice pack got a couple good nights of sleep, lol.

3/1: Look how swollen my neck was... ugly, weird turkey neck!

From here it all goes straight to hell in a handbasket.  My wonderful amazing handsome catman soulmate of 11 years tragically died in my arms 3 days post-surgery.  After that I was an emotional wreck.  With constant sobbing and that god awful 'knot in your throat' syndrome, my physical experiences and issues, I'm certain, are isolated to just me.  I have healed fine overall, but it took a lot longer for my throat to feel better.  It never got the time that it needed to relax - just a constant battle of hitching and that grief knot in my throat.  That fucking knot.

3/9, 10-day Post-Op: On my way to remove bandaging... YAY

At my 10 day post-op visit, they removed the strips and glue (YAY), and it felt like a noose had been removed from my neck.  Everything looked great and my calcium level was good... parathyroids had been saved and working well!  I was sent home with neck exercises/stretches, and instructions about applying Vitamin E oil and avoiding the sun for up to 12 months.  Um, yeaahhhh, I live at the beach, so this was going to be a pain in the... neck, HA HA HA.  Oh geez....


So here we are, 2 months post-surgery and my scar is still pretty noticeable, but it looks good and is bump free & smooth to the touch.  I'm told that it will be invisible or close to that in 6 - 12 months.  I'm being extremely diligent about caring for it.  I'm constant with Vitamin E and coconut oil, and anytime I leave the house I use Neutrogena SPF 100 and wear a scarf  - rain or shine (that sun is still shining behind the clouds!).  I also have to take into consideration my heritage.  I'm 1/4 Portuguese and inherited a great ability to cook, a spicy temper, and olive undertones in my light skin which causes me to retain scars a bit longer (or forever).  As a precaution, I just recently added Mederma to my daily regimen (I was also told that Vaseline works well, too).  The key is keeping it moist and prevent it from scabbing.  I also have full range of motion in my neck.  I didn't drive for about 1 1/2 weeks, but we all heal differently and I took a little longer.  I had issues, lol.

2 weeks, 4 weeks, 5 weeks, 6 weeks! SO glad that swelling is gone!

Honestly, overall none of it was unbearable.  My surgery & hospital experience was surprisingly awesome.  They took such good care of me - I was all bundled up in my comfy bed with freshly warmed blankie deliveries and an overwhelming outpouring of "You poor baby".  How can you not feel comforted by that?! 


Take-aways:
* It's a routine surgery, try not to stress... but let yourself worry and panic if you need to.  You can't control your feelings & emotions and it's worse keeping them in.
* If your hospital staff doesn't make you feel 100% comforted and comfortable, press that button and tell them.  You are only there for one night and you need to feel at ease and as pain-free as they can (legally) make you.
* Everyone heals differently.  I had short-term pain & minor issues, but my friend Michele who had the same exact surgery one week after mine had minimal pain, took zero pain meds, and was driving just a few days later.  She's a rock star.
* Plan on being out of commission for 2 weeks, but you might be up and at'em much sooner (like Michele, the super healer).  Just make sure you allow your body (and mind) time to heal and catch up.  You just had major surgery and an important body part removed for pete's sake - don't rush yourself.
* Once any bandaging is off, lube that puppy up and don't be afraid to massage it.  Gently at first of course (get your head out of the gutter), but you've got to help that scar tissue lay flat and go away.  Only YOU can do this.
* Be diligent about using your Vitamin E oil, Mederma, or whatever you're using!  Use it multiple times per day and be religious about it!  Leave it in the bathroom by the since and rub some on every time you potty!!  Make it a no-excuse, must-do part of your day.
* Come up with a good story for your scar.  Mine?  Well, when I was a cabbie in Boston this guy tried to chock me with a piano wire.  He jumped out of the cab and ran for it... but don't worry, I found him and he got his... lol.
* My pains and resolutions:
   > Scared shitless pre-surgery: ask for 'the happy juice' before you get wheeled in
   > Burning/fiery feeling at incision site: an ice pack will become your best friend :) 
   > Sore throat: Cepacol and popsicles rock
   > Insomnia: Netflix for your all-nighter, and then Benadryl if you can't take it anymore, lol
   > Death of your cat: Love of family & friends, lots of crying, time, and Ben & Jerry's.  Wine doesn't hurt either.
* If you're concerned about ANYTHING (i.e. my tingling face), call the doctor.  CALL THEM!!  That's what they're there for and why your insurance company is paying them booko-bucks!
 * Smile!  They wanted it out for a good reason and now it's out.  No more biopsies or "what if's" for you in the future!  HOORAY!!!  YOU DID IT AND YOU ROCK!!!!!

6 weeks, 8 weeks and today at almost 9 weeks! YAY!

I hope I didn't bore you too much... who am I kidding.  If you were bored you would have closed this page by now, lol.  My true hope is that I didn't forget anything.  If I did, you'll be hearing from me. And I'm an open book, so you're welcome to contact me or comment any questions you might have :)  I also added some some before and after photos for your viewing pleasure... some not so flattering.  I must really love you guys

Now to get my thyroid meds balanced out again... UG.  THAT is a story for another post, lol. 

Peas, Love, and Synthroid adjustments :)