I've been looking into options for permanent hair removal. The golden egg of course is electrolysis... but I don't have a few grand lying around to make me the smooth silken goddess I'd like to be. Home laser therapy is always a second option, but once you leave the electrolysis column you're treading water in the 'non-permanent but long-term removal' waters. I figure that's not too bad, since everything I've been reading says most people with medium to fair hair like mine (color, thickness & growth) may actually damage the hair follicle over time, with enough repeated laser or waxing treatments, that it won't grow back. I'm cheap...err, I mean frugal enough to take that bet! I'm a fairly smart chick, am a fast learner and I can figure out how most things work. This will be a piece of cake.
There are two top rated home hair removal laser products, both approved by the FDA... Tria and Silk'n. Both range in the $300 - 400; less if you shop around (Amazon, etc). Both sound great and get decent reviews, as long as I keep in mind that it's not "permanent" removal. For pennies on the dollar of the price of electrolysis, I'm all in. But wait! I'm even more frugal than that!! Why not start simple and use what's readily available to me! That's right, a home wax kit. Duh! Right in my neighborhood pharmacy... how convenient!
Pre-wax. No pics were taken post-wax, lol. |
What the hell went wrong? I know, I'll go watch examples on You Tube. Three videos down and I'm a pro. Here I come left arm pit. Dry, spread, rub and rip. MUTHA FU$@#, how the hell did I do it again? This stuff sucks! At least on this side I tried a much smaller area then my gung-ho approach of last. I decide that arm pits are too hard to do as my first try with waxing, so I repeat the oil pit bath on the left side... and grab a razor. I may be waxing my legs next, but dammit to hell if I'm going to keep my shaggy pits. Funny thing is that's the best shave I've ever gotten! My underarms are smooth... and a festive sunburn color. Damn you wax.
So I throw a leg up on the counter. Yes, this will work much better. I can see everything up close and personal. The arm pit was too far away in the wall mirror :-/ I rewarm my wax and take a look at everything I have laid out. Oh crap, I never used the powder. Maybe that's why it was sticking so bad? Trial & error and off I go. Spread... ooh shit, I forgot the damn powder (I am not exaggerating)... oh well, I already have this crap on my leg. Press the paper and RIP! Not a hair was in the paper, but they were all sticking every which way in the Elmer's Glue on my leg. OMG, I was ripping the wrong way. "Smooth the wax in the same direction as the hair growth and rip the strip off in the opposite"... damn. (did I mention how very smart I am?). Oh my aching pits; it was all my fault. I clean the goop off my leg because, well I'm a waxing virgin (other than my brows) and I was about to pass out by this time. But goddammit, I was going to master this, so next time I would be a pro... a silky smooth goddess pro.
Next leg on the counter. I've got this. Powder (ahhh!!!), spread, paper strip and RIP! YES!!!! We have lift-off! And all I have to say to you regular waxers out there is ARE YOU ALL $@!%;#* INSANE??? Do you one day get used to the pain or does the layer of skin with all of the nerve endings tear off after enough waxings? Oh my cheese and rice! I felt like I needed a safe word or something. DINOSAUR DINOSAUR! MAKE IT STOP!! I can't even begin to think about the women (and maybe men??) that get Brazilians... WHAT THE..... no fricking thank you. Wax 1, Me 0. Game over.
This all took place less than one hour ago. I had to write to you while the pain was fresh and the tingling on my skin was still active. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and happily shave my legs. Anyone want a gently used wax kit, lol?
I love that you used my safe word! DINOSAUR! I used to go and get my legs and bikini and underarms waxed very early in the morning when I was still very sleepy. You do get used to it after a little while but if you stop for a little, the pain comes back the first couple of times! Try laser hair removal. You might even find a groupon!
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